So, I’m sure you are already as confused as I was when I first stumbled upon this holiday. Let me clarify; yes, If Pets Had Thumbs Day is a real thing.
It’s observed on March 3rd and I have absolutely no clue as to how it got started.
However, it does really play on the imagination; as soon as you hear it, your brain is filled with the possibilities. Some are overwhelmingly cute, some turn out to be terrifying.
So why not join me, while I explore this concept to its
deepest depths and discuss the
consequences possibilities? I’m sure
we’ll learn something from it, right?
Use a Knife and Fork
For those of you with dogs who will happily spray their food across the floor when it’s dinnertime, this could be a godsend.
Just imagine it; a dog trained in the ways of kitchen etiquette, daintily slicing their kibble into smaller chunks before politely scooping a portion into their mouth.
It’s certainly better than their current method of shoving their face into their food, that’s for sure!
In all seriousness though, if your dog is a messy eater, the problem may lie with the food bowl. Here is a link to some great recommendations for food bowls that are fun to eat from while also preventing a mess!
Use the TV Remote
While some dogs already like to mischievously carry off the remote and hide it, this would allow them to go a step further and fully control the television.
This might result in your entire family being forced to only watch dog-related programming or the dog simply turning off the TV every time they want attention. Which is usually all the time, knowing most dogs.
Catch Toys in Their Hands
I don’t like this one. But it entered my brain so now I have to share it with you too, unfortunately.
Instead of majestically catching their favourite ball in their mouth, thumbs would now allow your dog to simply catch it with their hands, like a human. It’s rather uncanny to imagine. They could even learn to throw the ball themselves, cutting out our participation entirely.
Thumbs truly are powerful things.
Give an Actual Handshake
This was the most terrifying thought I had. Instead of the cute little trick you can teach your dogs of giving “paw”, with thumbs they can now grasp your hand and give a formal handshake.
I can’t explain why I fear this thought so much. I think it’s just the thought of a furry hand grasping your own; even if it’s your own dog it feels very alien.
Yeah, no thanks!
Snatch Up Treats
Opposable thumbs would mean we would have to try a lot harder to keep treats away from their clutches; especially when they are as tasty as the ones we offer!
I mean, where would you hide the treats? Nowhere is safe anymore! Your dog can easily open doors and cabinets with their newfound power. Locks could also prove to be no problem if they manage to find the key.
Unless they learn how to pick locks. Then there truly is nothing stopping them.
If Pets Had Thumbs Day 2020
I think this may have been one of my most rambly posts yet, but I do hope you enjoyed descending into madness with me! While it conjured up images of both adorableness and absolute horror, I can tentatively say I enjoyed it.
This holiday may be one of the weirdest ones out there, but it really does give something fun to imagine. What first entered your mind when you began to imagine your dog with thumbs? How would they act, what would they do differently?
Let us know in the comments! I can’t wait to hear what you all have to come up with!
Ryan is a freelance content writer who specialises in pets and animals. He works closely with various pet sites to educate people on everything there is to know about our cute furry companions. When he isn’t writing professionally, he is usually watching cat videos and trying not to adopt every Pomeranian he sees! His portfolio can be found here.